Sometimes I wonder why I bother…


Wow, being an adult is hard and time consuming. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I remember the days when I could sit at my computer all day everyday and just play around with it. While I can still – to an extent – on weekends, I just find myself doing other stuff. That and well, there’s honestly not been that much for me to update on this blog.

It’s kind of startling.

My life is… routine. I work, I come home, sleep. Repeat. Weekends are slightly more varied but then I don’t do that much. I find myself so tired come the end of the work week that I just don’t want to do anything. Over the past year I’ve started Karate and stopped due to an injury. I want to pick it up again I just need to organise it. I started a freelance archiving job for the Bugatti Club of Australia but gave that up because it just wasn’t happening. It was very hard to get motivated when all I want to do is sleep. Now that’s over I’m hoping to go back to volunteer archiving as that was nowhere as much pressure as the job. Less pressure is what I need at the moment.

I ended up dropping out of Uni. I just couldn’t keep up with it and with not being in the field I just didn’t see the point. Plus, honestly, the difference between a Bachelor and a Masters in the Library field is absolutely nothing. I did it for something to do and to keep my Centrelink payments. That was the middle of last year and it was a relief. Well technically the end when I dropped but I took leave for the second semester so I did my last subject first semester last year.

I’ve also kind of given up on my novel. Mostly cause I can’t figure out a decent ending… If I do I’ll go back cause I truly do want to finish it but the endings I have are cop-outs and that just seems wrong to me. Perhaps in time I’ll come up with another one.

I enjoy my job, it’s a long day and doesn’t leave for much else. I’ll stick with it for a few years but I really do want to advance. I’m twenty seven this year and while I have a better idea of what I want to do with my life I’m still not 100% sure. It’s startling. I spent all of my childhood and early twenties wanting to be a librarian and archivist and perhaps I’ll end up back in the field but honestly… as much as I want to work in history I don’t think it will happen. I want something challenging and diverse, something that pushes me to grow and in many ways that doesn’t? It’s familiar, it’s safe and while I’ll always love it perhaps its not a career for me? I suppose we’ll see what the future holds, one really never does know though.

So that’s a year in what four paragraphs?


Sometimes I wonder why I bother…

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